When keepin' it real goes wrong...: Him

Things People Say that Amuse Me

"Ewwww! You just touched my anal hole!" -Top 5
"You're the best kind of strange." -Dylan
"I would turn Barack Obama OUT...God BLESS America!" -Me
"I'm not THAT good; I just know how to front in front of parents." -B
"You are taking this thing so cereal." -Magnus
"I'm going to smoke a cigarette wearing nail polish, and then I'm going to take it off and smoke a cigarette NOT wearing nail polish." -Joele
'Maybe you just have chameleon lips--they change to the color of the lip gloss." -Me
"I've been waiting my entire life for this crit topic!" -Beth
"I just go for the shock and awe." -Chet
"Why don't you take a look at your life and then tell me about mine??" -The Wiki Speech Team
"Ugh, now I smell like a woman." -Marcus
"I don't plan, I just react." -Junior
"I want a TOY!" -Magnus
"Did you see how I used my fin???" -Katie
"I just wonder how it's gonna look whenever I get old--a dirty old man talking about prostitutes and strippers and looking up male escorts online." -My Sexuality in Society professor
"Oh. I'm building a deck." -My 11
"How do you expect to get OVER him if you keep getting UNDER him?" -Me
"I have negative boobs." -Colleen
"Hey, don't jab the corn!" -Megan S.
"I'll be glad if I never see another no-bake cookie." -Mom
"I think I'm just gonna eat a loaf of bread and watch 'Gilmore Girls.'" -Katie
"I feel like sometimes I would like to date myself because then I would know what my self liked, and then my self would know what my self liked." -Corn

If you don't dream, you're never disappointed when those dreams don't come true.

I should know this by now.

I took a chance--I won't anymore.

When keepin' it real goes wrong...