I've noticed lately that most of my so-called friendships are practically non-existent until someone needs something from me. Unless he or she is asking for a ride, a place to stay, or to borrow some money, I won't hear from him or her. I've always been a giving person; I'm the one who will go out of my way to make sure the people I care about are well taken care of. Heck, I just dropped all of my plans last Saturday (my first Saturday off in a loooooong time) to take a stranded former teammate to the airport--the same former teammate that used me and lied to me a few months back. I do what I can to make people happy.
But I can't blame everything on everyone else. I've got a lot going on that makes me hard to hang out with; I work two jobs, I hang out with my boyfriend occasionally, and I'm just really tired a lot. I don't mind being by myself; sometimes I choose hanging out at home instead of going to the bar or wherever people are socializing. I know I should go out and start hanging out with people, but I'm not sure how to go about it. This is so embarrassing--I don't know how to make friends anymore. I'm not quite sure where to start.
I've been thinking about moving away, going someplace new and starting over. I can't really afford to do that right now, but if I can find a job willing to cover relocation expenses I'll take it. I've already applied for one and am looking for others. I don't really want to leave, but it might be the best thing for me right now. Who knows?
(Oh, and the website that I usually use to post songs with my blogs is shutting down. Sad day.)
Three Good Things:
- I get paid this week.
- Daria finally came in.
- It finally stopped raining.
