Writing it down...

I've finally overcome one of the biggest hurdles of my adult life...writing poetry. I've been convinced that my words are shitty and that people will laugh at me when they read them. Actually, I still am. But putting my thoughts on paper (or Microsoft Word, to be more precise) makes me feel better.

Though I am noticing a trend. A significant portion of my poetry thus far has been slightly, well, depressing. I just write what I happen to be thinking at the time--I got out of the shower with the quickness this morning to write some things down--but I don't feel depressed necessarily. Maybe it's just my current situation and heightened stress level. Hopefully I'll have some happy poems to post for y'all soon.

Be blessed.

(Oh, and make sure you check out PostSecret today.)

She works hard for the money...or she would if she could find a job.

Today I'm heading to the annual job fair hosted on my school's campus. I feel prepared enough: 25 copies of my resume, freshly pressed suit, perfect hair and flawless makeup. Inside, though, I'm a little unsure. We're in a recession, and I'm worried that there won't be any full-time openings for a gal fresh out of undergrad. I'm trying not to worry about it too much, but you know how I am--"worry" should be my middle name.

Not only that, but I had a bit of an accident with my car and it will cost $1300 to fix. Before your eyes fall out of your head (mine almost did) the price is so high because I'm not reporting it to my insurance. And before you ask why, I'm not reporting it to my insurance because I'm not telling my mother until after I get it fixed. Not just because I'm afraid that she'll kill me (which I am to an extent) but because she pays most of my car insurance and I don't want the insurance to go up. She's going to be getting a foster child very soon, they're laying people off left and right at her job, and she has to pay all of her bills herself. I don't want her to pay for my mistake, so I'm paying for it myself. I'm trying to do the adult thing and take responsibility for my actions.

So now I'm pinching pennies like no one's business and hoping to have it paid off as quickly as possible. I had an idea that being a grown up would be expensive, but this is ridiculous. Wish me luck at the job fair; I'll update you on how it went as soon as I can.

Realization

It hit me like a ton of bricks the other day. I'm graduating. I placed the order for my graduation invitations and right after I clicked "Submit Payment," my entire body went numb. I think it was partially due to the fact that I was really nervous about having some syntax error/typo all front and center on my invitations, but mostly because this will be the biggest milestone of my life (so far). Yeesh. These emotions are wild. I just hope I can keep it together long enough to finish the semester. Speaking of which, I have a big ol' test in Sexuality and Society that I should probably be studying for right about now. More later.

MY place.

I have an apartment! Finally, my first big step toward being a "grown up." I put down the deposit yesterday, and I plan on moving in sometime in late April (after nationals are over). Wow. This is...emotional. I can't believe I'm going to be living on my own for the first time in just a few short months. Granted, it will be small (and most likely cheaply furnished), but it will be mine--all mine. My place to live, work, and just...be. This whole growing up thing is exciting! I'll post more later; I've got to stop by a friend's house before work.

I almost forgot!

I promised you all pictures from Krimson and Creme (the Greek formal I went to with my boyfriend last month). I apologize for my tardiness in posting them--I'm scattered to say the least. :) Here they are:

Stavon (one of my friends) and I before the party.



















My boyfriend Gabriel and I. He picked out my dress himself and gave it to me as a Valentine's Day gift!



















Us being silly. :)

Time...

Wow. Everything is moving so fast. I'm going to graduate from college in about 70 days. I'm absolutely terrified, but looking forward to it too. I'm excited to not have to worry about finals, papers, and classes for a year or so. :)

In other news, I finally found an apartment! I can't wait to move in and start living on my own. I've been a little concerned about if I'll make ends meet, but I should be fine. I've got to start budgeting and really crack down on my spending habits--something I've known I need to do for a while. But I've already got quite a bit saved for the deposit, rent, and furniture, so I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm really looking forward to decorating and having my own little home.

Things have been going okay in the relationship department as well. We've had our ups and downs, but I think that with consistent, honest communication we should make things work. The relationship is still new--we're still getting to know each others habits and things like that. I have high hopes for it though; it's been a while since I've been this happy with someone else.

I can't believe how time has flown by. I still remember playing house on the blacktop behind Hodgenville Elementary School, cheering for middle school basketball games in eight grade, and walking in a processional around the LaRue County High School gym after getting my diploma like it was yesterday. I can't wait for all the new memories I get to create, truly living life on my own for the first time.