"I can't do this without you."

Last night I was talking to a friend on the phone and he said something that I've been waiting to hear my whole life. This particular gentleman, who I competed with on the speech and debate circuit, told me that he's too old to play games; at this point in his life, he's searching for his future wife.

I was literally shocked to tears. I've never heard a man say that he's looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with. Especially someone like this guy: 23-years-old, college educated, no children, and as handsome as they come. I told him that I was going to get up and go to church just to thank God for what he'd said...and I did.

This morning, for the first time in a long time, I went to church. I sat in the front and listened to a service that felt like it was written just for me. Tears rolled down my face when my pastor asked everyone who'd ever felt unloved to raise their hands, then told us that Jesus loved us so much that he died to save us from ourselves.

During the alter call I just kept praying to God, "I can't do this without you." I can't get through a single day without His grace. The only way I could ever even come close to repaying Jesus for his sacrifice is to life my life in His image, and tell people about His love.

God really works in mysterious ways. I'm trying very hard not to get ahead of myself with this man, but he's been wonderful so far and I can't wait to get to know him better. You know how sometimes you just know that you're in the right place at the right time? That's how I feel about my life right now. I'm just taking things day by day from now on, waiting to see what God has in store for me.

A Gift to Give

I went to Bible study this morning for the first time in a long time. I know it's bad that I haven't been, but better late than not at all; I know I need to work on making myself right in Jesus before the rest of my life can fall into place.

In order to help myself remember the things I've learned and also to spread the word of God, I'm going to be giving a brief synopsis of the lessons on here every Sunday. That way I'll reinforce the teachings and, hopefully, teach someone else something too. So, here it goes:

"What is the church?"
Focus: Ephesians (scripture taken from the New International Version)

The church can be described as the building where worship happens, a congregation of followers, people united by faith in the same location, services organized to worship God, etc.

Ch. 1:
Ver. 3-5: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed up in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will--"
[God created the church before he created anything else; we were made to be his holy working body on Earth--it was our destiny to do so.]

Ver. 21-23: "far above all rule and authority, power, and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way."
[God is the ultimate ruler of the church. Pastors, ministers--everyone must first submit to God's will, regardless of their title within the church. The church is the body of Christ; it fulfills his plan through its actions.]

Ch. 3:
Ver. 20-21: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is a work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
[The church should give all glory to Jesus first and foremost. Only through God are any of the accomplishments the church makes possible.]

Ch. 4:
Ver. 4-7: "There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to one hope when you were called--one Lord, one faith, one baptism: one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it."
[Regardless of the different denominations and religions, there is one God and we are one united church in Him. Though God may be called different names and churches may practice differently, we are ultimately need to lift the name of the Lord. Don't bash other denominations or religions--they are our brothers and sisters in Christ.]

Ver. 11-16: "It was some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we weill not longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ. From him the whole body, joined and heald together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."
[We each have our own talents, a special gift to give. We should all use our individual talents to spread the word of God and build a might church for him. Though each denomination is different, we all need to work together for Jesus and love one another despite our differences.]

Ch. 5:
Ver. 22-25: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
[This isn's just about the church and its marriage to God. The church is the wife of God, so we must always submit to his will before our own. He loved us enough to give his life for us, so we should always follow his word and do his will."

Overall, I feel much more empowered now that I know what the church is supposed to do and how it is an extension of Jesus Christ. It makes me feel less alone to know that regardless of if we're Baptist, Pentecostal, Catholic or anything else, we're all supposed to put our differences aside and put God first. I'm really looking forward to continuing this discussion next week and learning more about the person God wants me to be.

Amen...

After weeks of not hearing my cell phone alarm clock, I finally woke up in time for that Southern Sunday ritual--church. I'm not an overly religious person by any means, but I do believe that someone has a plan for all of us and that by showing compassion and love for one another, we can go to a place of eternal peace. And that, it seems, is where I struggle.

I love the Lord, but to love fellow human beings in the way that God loves me is hard sometimes. I tend to hold grudges, and learning to let go and let God is one of the lessons I struggle with daily. But how can you not hold people to the same standards that you hold yourself? I try to be as considerate to others as possible, and it bothers me (sometimes for weeks for months afterward) when others don't do the same. But I'm learning that God has a plan for everyone, that the only true judgment comes from Him, and that I have to focus on making myself the best person I can be before I can cast my eyes upon anyone else.

With that said, I'm going to finish my cereal and head to church. Hopefully today's sermon will speak to me and help me become the person I know I can be. Be blessed.