Holding Back

I've noticed something about myself. Whenever I get upset about something, the anger doesn't come right away. Usually, the longer I think about something, the madder I get. I have no idea why this is, but that's the way I've always been.

I wrote a very angry post this morning, but I'm not going to publish it just yet. I need time to decide if this is a battle I really want to fight. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on, but this is something I'm not sure I want to give up on just yet. Hopefully I'll get some clarity from God; he's probably sick of hearing my prayers but I need a lot of help right now.

Today has been okay so far. I feel...different--kind of hesitant. Like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. It's very unsettling, but hopefully things will work out soon. I feel like I try very hard to make everyone happy. I can't do so much anymore; it's just making me frustrated. Whew. I just need a talk with God and a nap. Pray for me; my heart is hurting.

Three Good Things:

• Leftover chicken biryani for lunch.
• I finally have all of my tax info so I can file.
• Work tomorrow and Thursday at my part-time job for some extra cash.

Three Not-So-Good Things:

• Just got a $115 electricity bill.
• My head is pounding.
• It's FREEZING and the wind is cruel.

(Sorry, y'all. I had to get some not-good-things out of my head today.)